Cami Park

Hat to Bed

In Confessional, Exes, Film on June 8, 2009 at 5:00 pm

I had an ex who liked to wear an old wool cap to bed. He said he it kept him warm at night. He was also sensitive about his thinning hair, and I wonder if he secretly had some superstition about wool hats and the prevention of premature baldness. Anyway, I wouldn’t let him wear the hat to bed– I said I felt weird lying next to R.P. McMurphy. Now I wonder if I was petty, or shallow. Or both. I can’t decide.

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  1. My advice, if this ever comes up again (and if i was a betting man i would bet yes, except i suppose it might be hard to find somebody else to bet with given the relative insignificance of the outcome to anybody else’s life) is not to shut him down completely all at once. A much more harmonious solution is to transition him out of his woolen cap. Maybe buy him a top hat for his birthday and suggest he try wearing that to bed one or two nights a week. Then maybe a motorbike helmet for christmas. Or a beret. You may never get him completely off hats but you will at least class up those intimate moments a little.

  2. i never knew anybody who wore a hat to bed. but i always wear socks in the shower

  3. Soggy bastard.

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